Surely we can do better.

You know, it’s good to read points of view you disagree with – it’s really good to understand what people actually say, rather than what you think you may have heard them say.

But isn’t it strange, when you read an opposing point of view and it reads like a parody? Like someone on your side is making up what the other side thinks in order to mock it?

I have read two blogs this week – one by a Christian, one not. The first makes the point, in favour of her relationship with her partner that “she completes me”. (Implication: by making a moral judgement on my relationship you are attempting to uncomplete me.) The second is commenting on the scandal of an American gay Christian who is aiming for celibacy but has very publicly fallen. It comments, with customary lack of grace for someone who is obviously in a very painful position, that he just needs to learn than drawing a line between having a sexual orientation and acting on it is like drawing a line between having lungs and breathing. (Implication: by abstaining from sex you are killing yourself.)

I mean, really? Do we really think single people are actually incomplete? Do we honestly think that people who abstain from sex are the same as people who abstain from oxygen? Really? Could you be any more offensive to single people if you actually tried to be? I’m not sure you could.

There is an extremely impoverished view of what it is to actually be a person going on here, one, it seems to me, helplessly imbibed from the worse of Hollywood romantic comedies, and nineties Atomic Kitten songs; a person is only complete in a sexual relationship.

I can’t be bothered deconstructing that now. I almost feel I don’t need to as it is so self evidently rubbish. Suffice to say, some of the most human, life bringing, complete people I know are single and celibate. If you are reading this, you know who you are, try to ignore the endless background chatter. You are loved, human, complete and a blessing to us all just as you are.

 

6 thoughts on “Surely we can do better.

  1. Thanks Mo, helpful, thoughtful stuff. Love this:

    “I mean, really? Do we really think single people are actually incomplete? Do we honestly think that people who abstain from sex are the same as people who abstain from oxygen? Really? Could you be any more offensive to single people if you actually tried to be? I’m not sure you could.”

    That’s brilliant. Often been made to feel like this. At my cousin’s wedding, my uncle preached the following: “Until God made Eve for Adam, he was incomplete. Until we get married, we are incomplete.” :-O

  2. Compassion should be the response we have to those we disagree with who make mistakes. I really feel for that poor guy who’s mistake has been made so public. There but for the grace of God go I. I pray that when next a non-Christian demonstrates a moral failing we’ll respond by modelling empathy.

  3. Thanks Geth. Whilst I don’t want to start any rumours about the quality of my marriage, I think I must point out that Anna laughed her head off at the thought of my completing her as a human being.

  4. I know a staffworker who learned a lot by listening to the first Relay worker he’d ever come across- the inestimable Jo Desmond – exposing the theological paucity in AK’s lyrics. Good post Mo

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